In the seduction community men are taught that women give men "shit tests" in order to weed out the non-dominant, wimpy men. The premise is that if you pass these so-called tests, you stay in the game, and if you fail these tests a woman will lose interest in you.
I used to be a strong believer in this but eventually I came to the conclusion that women who are genuinely interested in a man don't test him. Instead, they go along with him and make things easy for him. In other words, when a woman likes you and wants to get with you she doesn't try to throw up obstacles, such as "tests". So what's going on? Why is the "shit test" concept so ingrained in the PUA mindset?
One reason is because its description is so vague. A shit test can be described as anything a woman does which can be interpreted as a "negative". If she asks you a strange question, it's a shit test. If she challenges you on your behaviour, it's a shit test. If she asks you if you're gay, it's a shit test.
Many practicing PUAs get so-called shit tests for the simple reason that they act so damn weird, and when women bring attention to this behaviour or react negatively to it, voila... it's a shit test.
"Why are you wearing dorky clothes?"
The PUA interpretation: It's a shit test.
"We've heard that line before."
The PUA interpretation: It's a shit test.
"Are you gay?"
The PUA interpretation: It's a shit test.
If you are a guy who is using PUA material, consider that your behaviour might come across as a little strange, to say the least. So not surprising, some women may call you out on that behaviour. And to you that will seem like a shit test.
Shit tests also appear to occur when you act confrontational and cocky, and when a woman gives you a taste of your own medicine (i.e. she does the same to you), you interpret that as a shit test.
In the seduction community, the half-assed evolutionary explanation for shit tests is that women (especially attractive women) need some way to quickly judge men's "worthiness". So they "throw up" seemingly crazy questions without purpose in order to achieve that goal. But regardless, you have to pass the tests or you are out!
If she asks you why you are wearing dorky clothes you have to say something like, "What is it you like about dorky clothes?"
If she says she heard that line before you have to say something like, "I only used that line 300 times today".
If she asks if you are gay you have to say something like, "You're almost as good looking as my last boyfriend".
These might diffuse the situation and even get a laugh out of her, and in some ways they are good responses, but they are no more than fast remedies to a situation that you created. The truth is that you would not have to learn to pass shit tests such as these if you don't use PUA material, which is what triggers these type of negative reactions to begin with.
If you act normal and a girl wants to get with you, she will never "shit test" you.
The other point to make is that, from an evolutionary standpoint, women can't really test men for "alpha" traits because alpha men don't care to pass tests, women's or otherwise. In addition, it doesn't make sense for women to test men for manliness because manly men would never even entertain the thought that women are testing them, and would not feel that they need to pass their tests if they do. In a real man's mind, either she likes me or she doesn't. So the whole idea of women testing would never show up on a real man's radar, therefore it would be an unnecessary screening mechanism for women to have. And since evolution takes the most economical path, testing would never become an active part of women's psyche.
But PUA's argument is that women test men unconsciously, which is why women are unaware that they do it. This is just a clever way of hiding the improbability of something under the veil of "unconscious action". If someone denies that they do something you just say they do it unconsciously, and for some that would shut down debate. But for the more intelligent there is another plausible explanation. It just doesn't exist, period.
In defense of the shit test, some PUAs say that they only ended up having sex with women because they passed tests. To that I would refer them to the above argument. They probably said or did some weird things, directly from the PUA guide book, and the women reacted negatively to it. But they managed to deflect it and still ended up getting the girl. In this case it would then seem that passing shit tests is important. But it's a circular type of argument. A causes B. C fixes B. Therefore B and C are valid.
An extension of this is the PUA belief that women shit test you because they are attracted to you, and they just need to make sure you are the real deal. This is nonsense because women who are attracted don't generally want to fuck up their chances with you by giving you a hard time. However, if you act weird or confrontational then she might respond in kind by giving you what appears to be a shit test. This illustrates the following faulty logic: A woman is attracted to you. You act weird or confrontational. Result, she tests you. Therefore, women who are attracted shit test you.
PUAs say that if a woman isn't shit testing you then she isn't into you. Let's look at this one more closely. Let's say I'm a PUA and a girl is not testing me or giving me a hard time. I then conclude that she isn't interested in me (yet). So what I do is reach into my PUA bag of tricks and start doing cocky-funny, teasing or whatever. As a result she starts giving me a hard time (shit test), but not because she's becoming attracted, but because I'm acting weird and she's reacting negatively to that. But I just figure she's becoming attracted, so I keep at it. Eventually she just walks away. And from that I conclude that I failed her shit tests. I then go back to the drawing board feeling that I made some progress because I did manage to attract her after all, and I just need to polish my shit-test-passing competency skills. But what really happened was that she saw me as a weirdo and I alienated her with my behaviour. The truth is that she might have liked me and that's why she wasn't testing me or giving me a hard time to begin with. But I interpreted that as a lack of attraction and started doing things which I thought would attract her. But it just drove her away.
Consider that PUAs often say that the best reaction to a shit test is to ignore it. In other words, pretend it doesn't exist, and then the situation will right itself. There is in fact an important clue in this statement. If the best reaction to something is to act like it doesn't exist, then maybe the reason for that is because it doesn't exist to begin with. Why test someone who is seemingly unaware they are being tested, and then reward them for their ignorance? Remember, evolution takes the most economical path, and such testing could never exist.
If a woman likes you and wants to get with you, and assuming you act normal, she will never "test" you. That's all there is to it.
But if it happens that a woman is genuinely testing a man, then she is screening not for alpha men, but for approval seekers, since only an approval seeker would care about passing tests. But this is hardly normal female behaviour. It is the behaviour of an abnormal woman who is likely just trying to push a man's buttons in order to get the (possibly angry) reaction she is seeking, because that excites her. This type of behaviour tends to screen for abusive men who have little or no control over their emotions.
The other possibility is that some women give men a hard time because they themselves have issues, possibly stemming from their inability to enjoy intimacy. And if you do manage to push through their resistance you will find the sex to be very lacking, and your time together filled with drama and bullshit. This further proves that shit testing is not real because there is no real "reward" for passing. The best sex and company is with women who don't test or give a hard time.
Also keep in mind that the shit test concept has the potential to boost women's ego. Women who already think highly of themselves will tend to embrace the idea that men have to pass their tests. This fits well with their world view that they are the prize and that they are above criticism for their actions. In their mind, "I'm not being a bitch. I'm just testing to see how much of a man he is".
The shit test concept is the result of looking too closely at the little details without regard for the big picture. It's the kind of faulty left-brained type logic that involves lots of analysis, but not much thinking.
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