Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Paying For Sex Is More Alpha Than Using PUA Methods

If you assign a dollar amount for the use of PUA methods you will find that you pay much more than you get in return. It's like investing $1000 to get $50 in return. Now I will admit that for some that $50 is very important, like if you're a virgin and/or sexually/socially inexperienced. Then that $50 return is worth all the effort. But over the long term the use of PUA methods is definitely a losing proposition. Once the novelty fades it quickly becomes a low yield exercise in terms of results attained, and it has the compound effect of hurting your self image since you are trying to change who you are to adapt to what women are attracted to. I personally would rather pay for sex than ever use PUA methods again. It's a much more efficient use of my time. The closest thing I would ever get to using PUA methods again is to do mass approaches, but with my personality on display, not PUA material. And I would do this in order to get a regular girlfriend. In this part of the world where I am it's simply not worth it to be a player who hooks up with lots of women; the reason being that cold approaching here is very low yield. Therefore, it only makes sense to do it to get a steady girlfriend.

But if you want sex with different hot women on a regular basis then prostitution is the best way to go about it. It will save you all the grief, anger and emotional frustration that comes with using game - which by the way is a much higher price to pay than paying a prostitute, in my opinion. And it's even possible that a prostitute will cost less money anyway. For example, if you habitually go to clubs and the cost per club night is (say) $40-50, then you might end up paying hundreds of dollars before you finally hook up with someone (not to mention the many hours of approach effort that it took). For this amount of money you could get sex with a guaranteed hot woman, but with none of the effort.

So with all this in mind, these are the reasons I've come up with in favor of prostitution:

• You are only spending money, as opposed to money plus time plus effort, or time plus effort at the very least.

• It crushes the evolutionary argument that very attractive women always seek men with superior genes (mostly espoused by PUAs). So if you got money you can buy sex with a very attractive woman regardless of how much "reproductive value" you have as a man. This is a great thing and perhaps more fascinating than the use of "game" to get a higher quality woman since game is just an attempt to enhance attractiveness. But money is simply a shortcut to get the same result without any of the effort to boost attractiveness.

• Prostitutes compete with each other for your business/company, which helps raise the quality level of their service. This is unlike typical western females in the dating game which feel no need to compete for a man, so like a tight trade union they collectively lower the quality of what they give to the man while expecting much in return. But for prostitutes, giving little means the man just "shops" elsewhere next time. This is a switch from the dating/courtship/pro-female/male-supplication model to an economic model for which payment for quality of service is the only criterion for the pairing between a man and woman.

• In the economic model where the man pays directly for sex, the seller (the woman) typically respects the buyer (the man) much more than women in the dating scene do. The western dating scene is also based on a buyer-seller model, but one which is cleverly disguised with fake courtship rituals and relationship quid pro quo, with the added insult that the sellers (the women) typically disrespect the buyers (the men). It's like walking into a store, and instead of being greeted by the merchant you are ignored, and even scorned just for being there. You are starting from a negative position which you must climb out of somehow. In other words, you have to prove yourself worthy before even ATTEMPTING to buy.

• Paying money instead of using game means you don't have to change who you are. If you want to get laid, you just pay money, and your personality stays basically intact. So given a choice between the two, a truly alpha guy is more likely to just pay for sex than change parts of his personality in order to get women to have sex with him. Now some guys will say that going to prostitutes sucks because the woman doesn't actually like them, and is just doing it for money. To me, as long as I just want sex, it wouldn't matter to me anymore than if my mechanic likes me as a person. As long as he can properly service my car, that's all I really want. I'm not paying him to like me. I'm paying him to service my car, the same way I would pay a woman to satisfy me sexually. However, I would want her to respect me. That is important, the same way it's important that my mechanic respects my wishes with respect to my car.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perfectly true, but you will never convince a gamer of this - they have this massive mental block concerning this issue.

One of the essential, defining characteristics of the game movement is cognitive dissonance. It could not survive without this, its a built in, deliberate feature of game.

Basically, in my view, game is so that weak men can continue acting weak while telling themselves they are being strong. This way you get to supplicate to women while firmly convinced you are doing nothing of the sort.

You can point this out to gamers, but the whole point of game is to preserve this cognitive dissonance so that weak men can indulge their desire to supplicate without admitting this to their conscious minds.

Tell a gamer he defines his self-esteem based on womens reactions to him, he will hotly deny it, insisting it is *just a tool* to get women, and then he will turn around and mock anyone who uses prostitutes and consider that putting in enormous amounts of effort and making entire personality changes he despises in order to get girls is a much less degrading way to get sex than just paying for it.

Obviously game is not just a *tool* to get sex for gamers - if it was, its easier to just pay, and they would freely admit that, yet nearly EVERY gamer is against paying for it. Game is clearly, for most gamers, a device to win approval and validation from women.

But as I have said, you have no chance of getting a gamer to admit this. The amount of word twisting they will go through to avoid admitting these things is astounding, it has to be seen to be believed.

Anonymous said...

There is something to be said about playing a game and winning. There is a sense of accomplishment that comes with tackling a puzzle, figuring it out, and solving it. A challenge. I bet I can talk this girl into giving me head sorta thing.

Is it as efficient as paying? No. I cannot think of a more uncompromising method for the average man to get sex with hot women than to pay.

However, alpha males are competitive and willful. Game is fun way to try to control and dominate an unpredictable part of our environment that is woman.

It is alpha to do whatever the hell you want. If you like playing the game, do so. If not, pay.

Anonymous said...

Anon, playing a game and winning brings satisfaction? That really depends on what you are trying to win.

With game, what you are trying to *win* is a response from someone else - this means you have to subordinate your own desires and wishes in order to fit in with someone ELSEs script.

So what you are *accomplishing* is lowering yourself to the level of a slave. Its like the dog who gets satisfaction from *winning* food from his master - but how did he win it? He became a slave for his master.

If the only way you can accomplish something involving the consent of another human being is by becoming their *slave* (by suppressing your own personality to fit in with theirs), it suddenly does not seem like such an accomplishment, does it?

Thats why even if game succeeded it would not be an *accomplishment*. It would merely mean you consented to be a females slave in order to win a positive response from her.

True *winning* means getting things on your OWN terms, not THEIR terms.

Alek Novy said...

I love how the gamer above tried to come up with this routine about "enjoying winning".

When gamers are confronted with the objective reality of how illogical their choices are - they come up with the most desperate, last-ditch attempts to try and hang onto their game religion.

There's a saying that's appropriate here "He chased her, until she caught him".

The trick is that SHE the woman decides she wants you long before you've played any game.

How is that you're "winning" a game, if you were chosen long before you even played it?

95% of the time when a gamer gets a chick, if you interview her, she had chosen the guy long before he did anything game-wise.

Alek Novy said...

On the general topic of prostitution and being alpha, can any gamer explain to me why rockstars, billionaires, politicans, wrestlers and all kinds of alphas continue getting caught in prostitution rings?

Can anyone explain to me why the most powerful and even most attractive men on the planet who could get women easily, still go to escorts?

In fact, if game was about emulating alphas, then gamers would be teaching going to professionals as part of the repertoir. Most alphas I have ever known do whores on a regular basis.

Heck, even rockstars who have groupies, still choose to do prostitutes... Maybe it's because they figured out that you pay a whore to leave (which a groupie might not).

Maybe it's because being an alpha is ultimately about figuring out that you respect yourself, your time and your resources too much to leave it up to chance.

An alpha wants complete dominion over his time and resources. He wants complete control, without any randomness or vagueness.

MarkyMark said...

When it comes to sex, you ALWAYS pay one way or another. With whores, you're: 1) paying the cost UP FRONT; and 2) paying the bitch to leave when you're finished.

Dirt Man said...

I'm glad you continue to write man. Is there a way to subscribe so it emails when you make a new post? Other than the atom thing?

John said...

I don't have anything set up right now for email notification. I think I can probably do it through FeedBurner.

John Robie said...

"The closest thing I would ever get to using PUA methods again is to do mass approaches, but with my personality on display, not PUA material."

Having done both the whole 'fuzzy hat PUA club thang' and mass street approaches with 'my personality on display (ie, no Game),' I gotta say in terms of saving money, time, mental stress while improving both the quality and quantity of women in my life, mass approaches wins hands down. It's not even a contest.

"the reason being that cold approaching here is very low yield."

I don't know if I would agree it's 'low yield,' but in any case it's certainly 'higher' than running Game and pretending to be an Alfa-Touf-Guy while trying to persuade Train Wrecks to hop into bed against their better judgment.

Anonymous said...

I'm very glad I found this blog. Reading your posts really opened my eyes and helped me leave behind the whole PUA 'community'.

Anonymous said...

PUA takes insecure guys and just makes them into bigger liars/braggers to keep up with their friends. Most of PUA is really about getting numbers to impress their friends. Why do so many PUA guys have no girl friends. They are either inept or have a bottomless pit of need to have recognition from other PUA guys and women are really second!
WT

Anonymous said...

Prostitutes really are BY FAR the best way to have sex with 9s and 10s.

Use "game" to have sex with 8s and below, and use money to have sex with 9s and 10s, and you'll be a happy man.

Socialkenny said...

Another bullshit-ass article on this anti-PUA blog.

John said...

Your motivation for disagreeing becomes obvious upon following your link.

Anonymous said...

I thought this was a great article and oh so true. I have read I think this entire blog. Kudos for writing all of it.

Anonymous said...

Please continue writing on your blog. you have inspired me the most out of anyone

Johnny said...

Completely agree with this. IMO, chasing one-night stands are just not worth it. Maybe the first one or two are for the experience value, but other than that, it is just shit.

If one manages to get a girlfriend or at least a regular FWB out of it, then at least the initial effort put into this would get amortized by the number of times you have sex with her.

Otherwise, go for hookers. Take the negative aspects about chasing one-night stands like the time and emotional effort put into it, maybe lot of effort put into it for very little return (bad sex), add in the positive aspects of hookers like unlimited variety, she will probably put in some effort to please you (else you just drop her), and none of the effort and drama, and hookers definitely become the better option for people who make good money.

Abdullah said...

Shia Muslims, as in Iran, have this concept of Mut'ah or temporary marriage. It envolves offering a dowry for a specified term to a woman. I have a facebook page about it called "islamic dating guide". I think you'd find it interesting.
There is an element of Alpha Male that a lot of people in the PUA community don't explain, which I'd like to share.
There are two types of people in the world; givers of happiness and takers. To be successful with women one has to love people. That love in the alpha sense translates to wanting to protect, shelter etc. One who cares.
The alpha among animals is not alpha because he is strong. He is strong because he cares about everyone in the pact. Nature or God gives him that attractiveness because he looks after his pact.
Women intuitively sense whether a male is a happiness-giver or a happiness taker.

Anonymous said...

With your pathetic, inferior attitude about women, it's no surprise you have little choice but to pay for access to one. You deserve every last bit of your loneliness and paralyzing frustration with yourself and your life.

Anonymous said...

The difference between free sex and sex you pay for is.....

The free sex always cost more.

Anonymous said...

hmm... great post actually, thanks, and an eye-opener for me. I used to think visting a hooker was "pathetic", but these days I actually think it's the rational choice to make, also if you have trouble approaching women. I totally agree that you probably would have to pay equal $ to "wine and dine" a hot babe, so if you're just looking for sex I'd support visiting a prostitute any day. It can be very difficult for a man in this society 2012 to "get laid", while a woman just has to be "ready". Sex should be enjoyed by all humans.

Shawn said...

As a general rule, men display, women choose (note that is not to say that men do no choosing; for example I've turned down propositions from fat girls).

Shawn said...

I am not sure if my this comment went through when I hit submit so just delete this if it did:

As a general rule, men display, women choose. This is not to say that men do no choosing though. For example I have turned down the advances including propositions from fat girls.

synner1986 said...

Finally, I was looking to a post like this!
_Besides the fact that is cheaper from a lot of different point of view. It is also more respectful, you respect the prostitute because you are just having a normal economic transaction while the major part of PUAs do not respect women, they just look a way to solve the puzzle without any involvement. At this point if you don't want to be involved just go with whores, at least you will not offend anyone!

pinetree said...

Nice blog -- clear, logical thinking. Women also see male prostitutes. Your boundaries are defined. PUA tactics -- little boundaries there when a girl can 10 years later have you charged for rape -- take away your bank account, career etc. It happens quite a bit.

HAPPYMAN said...

I agree

Anonymous said...

I am a 50 something guy who never considered prostitution my whole life. By accident, I was introduced to it on a visit to Costa Rica. I have discovered that latin women are the sexiest and most feminine in the world. These girls are fun and submissive. I now plan to move to Colombia since it so inexpensive. I have discovered that there is life, fun and sex still for me as I get older.

J.D. said...

One flaw with the premise of this article...men who go into PUA aren't really in it to experience the physical experience of sex. They're in it for validation. And they don't get validation from buying a prostitute. They DO get validation from seducing women. Maybe they shouldn't, but they do.

To answer your question about why rockstars, etc. use prostitutes-- they (most of them) already have a lifetime's worth of validation, so they don't need any more. What they need more is safety. A hooker isn't going to claim rape or file paternity suits or squeal to the paparazzi. See "Kobe Bryant and the concierge" for an example of these pitfalls.

Anonymous said...

Paying for sex is not alpha at all
Jazz

Anonymous said...

This guy is a loser. When you meet a woman and hang out with her and do things with her you have a relationship with her at least at a very basic level. But when you hire a prostitute she doesn't give a damn about you. She doesn't even like hanging out with you. When you pay a prostitute she leaves imediately after her time is up. At least a girlfriend cares a little bit about you. a whore can't wait to get the fuck away from you. Ewww. And you don't even know where that pussy has been.

John said...

^^^^ You hire a prostitute for sex, nothing more. It's an easy option for any sexually frustrated guy who has a hard time meeting women. It sounds like you have a big problem with that.

PartyTravelSexLov said...

Great post. You always pay for pussy. Most PUA guys are too insecure to admit this. PUA guys are not after sex, they are into validating their insecure egos!

Anonymous said...

I think it happens on a greater scale to man than women the fact that when it comes to sexual relationships some preffer the sexual act for it self where others preffer all of the rest that surrounds the sexual act the so called mating dance.

Anonymous said...

Whores not for Alphas some of you say...give me a break..I spent many years in the military where Alphas bang whores regardless. I'll go tell my Special Forces mates or fellow Infantrymen they are Betas because they go whoring.Its legal here in Australia some brothels are even on the stock exchange. I looked into PUA its got some good stuff for your mind but I could find hardly any mention of whoring. I'd rather use PUA with some real juices on me even if I paid for it. Whores not for Alphas lol go tell that to the USMC .Whores in Australia can retire after they hit our shores.

Sam Vincente said...

> "He chased her, until she caught him".

This is gold. Men completely overlook the fact that women are playing them too - whether it is for cash now or cash later.

John said...

There's no reason why getting sex should directly tie into masculinity. It's certainly a part of it but the way I see it, if you're a man who wants sexual release then prostitutes are a simple option. Who cares if you pay for it. Why should getting sex, for a guy, have anything to do with being alpha, beta or whatever nonsense? Strictly speaking jerking off is "beta" too but in a pinch it gets the job done. If you're a man in the old wild west and there's only one woman in town and she's a whore, then you're going to inquire as to how much she costs, if you have a brain, and not on how to game her. What a waste of time lol. By the time you figure out exactly what buttons to push she will have fucked dozens of guys who did something more useful with their time when they were not fucking her. Just pay the woman and be done with it.

Anonymous said...

I got game. I use money to get bitches hump me :) Works every time!!

Sex is my hobby i spend 400 euro a month on sex, 80 euro a shag that getting laid 5 times a month.

Remember this: Every week you didn't got laid is a week of you're life lOST :) !!!! You not gonna get that time back.

I don't know a lot of player who get laid 5 times a month every month of their lives.

I'm 25 now and from when i was 20 i never had a week without sex.

I'm telling all you guy's.
A real man is a workaholic. He doens't do stupid things like get drunk and harrash girls.

He makes money, lots of money and when done having sex he pay's for the girl to leave after.

No offense I LOVE BITCHES, love you girls you the real shit. Women are better funded for sex than having around.

They now it, spending time with eachother shopping is more fun that having a man around. Let women have their fun and you can have your's.

Everybody wins :)

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of sad sociopathic motherfuckers you all are. Is this the way it is today. No talk about respect, let alone love for someone you feel deeply about. Other than getting your pecker polished you are all a bunch of lonely lost souls and you will go to hell as such. Pathetic fucks...

Anonymous said...

If you DO NOT EVEN have a foundation of confidence YOU WILL NEVER have the courage to even talk to women, let alone picking them up. PUA SCHOOL DO teach us a lot but every human being vary from one another. If YOU FEEL you will get more confidence by banging some mid-high class escort, its not a bad idea + combined with some PUA techniques you have learned over the years will give you extraordinary boost of confidence which you may apply in-field. Personally i hate when i see someone is trying to demoralize others. ESPECIALLY when I see some dumb motherfuckers who never even seen a VAGINA and who lived in their moms BASEMENT their entire lives, trying to sound like a playboy but we all know at the end of the day these the sad and lonely losers who give masculity a bad name. IF YOU DONT LIKE TO FUCK A PUSSY THEN TRY AND TRY HARD UNTIL YOU CAN FUCK YOURSELF IN THE ASS.

Anonymous said...

To the idiots here who are defending PUA, and putting down those men who have made the smart choice to just pay hookers for sex, WAKE UP TO YOURSELVES!!

On a cost to benefit analysis, it's actually cheaper to pay a hooker for some quality sex, than wasting your time and money trying to pick up some drunk bar slut.

And what about ugly men like me, who can't attract women how are we supposed to experience sex and female intimacy? On the totem pole of honesty and integrity, hookers are at the top, and are probably the most honest women you could ever hope to meet.

Anonymous said...

Very true. After you pay for a woman's drinks, coffees, desserts, dinners, jewellery, clothing etc, you may as well visit a prostitute for around the same price as you spend on all these things, with the added bonus of getting some kinky se from a professional. Something that most prudish entitled women won't even give you even after all you spend on them.

john mack said...

Hey,,
It's True that If u want to fuck Hundreads or Thousands of women in lifetime than prostitution is the best thing.But I also Prefer becoming a PUA to a basic level where u can have sex with 1 or 2 women out of 50 women u approach.It gives confidence.If u want to fuck quality women of different countries and race then prostitution is the way u can satisfy ur self.Even the best of Best pick up artist's fuck only 50-60 women's a year.Which is I think quite less and the time u need to give in approach is also large.Well nice post...I appreciate this post.

john mack said...

Very true ..Even the best of the best PUA's in the world fuck 50-60 women a year.This is I think is very less.

Anonymous said...

I have come full circle on the PUA vs Escort vs Re-discovering nightclubbing argument.
First off "women are about money". This is a sad fact of life but its true- more money more hoes. Women lie, deny and deflect accusations about wanting money- but look at their actions dating wealthy career guys, drugs dealers and other alpha types. Any guy who claims they can pull multiple women without money is a bullshitter.

Second Escorts are a temporary distraction from loneliness but beware you can only kid yourself for so long. Yes it is nice fucking females above your league and I swore I'd never touch a civilian woman ever again. But after less than 2 years and 20 escorts later I started craving a girlfriend.

So then round 3. You have to get real seek out a psychologist (lying to yourself about your non existent sex life can do serious damage to your mental well-being) and get back into socialising. A lot of ex-PUAs become reclusive forum addicts. Start accepting random invites.

Anonymous said...

Let's see... the player aka PUA can talk a woman out of her panties for free. But women are sneaky creatures. If she gave you sex for free you better believe she will feel like she has a relationship and connection with you. She will feel like you maybe the one and next thing you know I'M PREGNANT. $250,000 to raise a kids til 18 player!!!! Sex isn't so free now is it? What will the player say to a woman who gave him free sex now? Oh baby I just wanted sex so I opt out of fatherhood. This will not work because you didn't pay her to leave. You gave her nothing for sex. Alpha males got money so you can't say you can't provide if need be. No woman just let's a guy have sex with her and she gets absolutely nothing back in return. Not even a relationship?? Now you're living fantasies!!!!

Men who paid the upfront price don't have this problem because we pay a woman to leave. The prostitute/escort can't say I'm pregnant with her line of work as a prostitute. Smarting up player!!!

Anonymous said...

You are a faggot...OP's standpoint makes perfect sense, and your ramblings are that of a pathetic virgin loser.

Vallin Sfas said...

WHEN are you going to get a "Follow" bar on this blog and Toronto Men Unite (hint: The US Southeast, Atlanta, and NYC are depressingly similar!)

Anonymous said...

"This guy is a loser. When you meet a woman and hang out with her and do things with her you have a relationship with her at least at a very basic level."

A PUA who gets in a girl's pants after a date or two has ZERO relationship with the girl. He just knows a few things about her. She knows a few things about him. Maybe they share some jokes. But it's not a relationship, even at a basic level. The girl doesn't know who you are, the girl doesn't care for you, the girl doesn't love you despite your baggage or weaknesses, etc. A real relationship takes months and months and months to develop. Personally, I think the line between hiring a prostitute and a PUA picking up a girl is not that enormous.

Anonymous said...

After reading all the replies and rationalizations and calculations about getting off etc, the one thing that becomes abundantly clear is that no one here knows what love is , apparently cannot feel it, does not want or need it or confuses it with sex. This is sad and repulsive.
People with no soul, no conscience, no care.

Anonymous said...

I bet a lot of the guys here tried their hardest to find love but were met by a brick wall by women pretty much all of their lives. Eventually, a man is going to stop trying something that doesn't work for him and simply try an alternative that does.

Every man WANTS to be loved, but the problem is that most women in this era are seeking an illusion/bastardization of what a man is rather than the reality, and because of that men that would've had no trouble finding a loving female companion a generation or two ago, now can't even get a woman to say hello to them or give them the time of day.

So while you judge these men, understand that monsters aren't born, they're created by life circumstances and the treatment they receive from the people they encounter during their life path.

Franco said...

For me having long-term multiple relationships with women works very well in establishing a new and more equal "market value" to sex. That also puts the women to compete with each other and costs nothing.

John said...

^^^ That works if you have a lifestyle and the personal resources in order to access and "keep" multiple women in your life at once. Then it would seem that women are competing not for you but for access to the lifestyle which you are offering. Such a lifestyle cannot just include sex and "good feelings", but material things as well. So it still costs something, whether it's time, effort, or money, or a combination of the three. Prostitutes are the "poor" or "average" man's way to access sex in a guaranteed way. For most guys it is 10x easier to work for the amount of money that it takes to have sex with a hot woman, rather than try and "seduce" a hot woman for "free".

ROFLMAO said...

"Such a lifestyle cannot just include sex and "good feelings", but material things as well."
I wrote it on the internet so it must be true. XD