Monday, November 26, 2007

The Sex Life Of Primates

The social structure of primates (especially chimps - our closest relative in the animal kingdom) resembles our own in many ways. But there is one way in which we really deviate from them (and not really in a good way). And that is, mating patterns.

In many human cultures mating has been defined in the spirit of what we think it ought to be. This has often resulted in dysfunctional dating practices, unnatural courtships, and massive confusion and gender wars. How many times have you read an article on what to do and not to do on a date? It's endless. If you want clues on what you should be doing you have to look at nature and history. It's unbiased.

The mating practice of chimps is pretty straightforward. The male solicits the female or vice versa and she or he accept or rejects. That's it. There is no longer-term evaluation process. They are either into each other naturally and right now or they move on.

Now there may be several factors that go into how mate selections are made, based on rank, appearance, etc., but all that is rolled into a fast decision.

Also interesting about chimps is that persistence on the males part doesn't really make for greater mating frequency. In other words, female chimps, by resisting solicitation, aren't selecting for persistent or more aggressive males.

It's not as if we evolved past fast hookups and are now at the evolutionary stage where the male courts the female via dinner, dates, gifts, etc. If we did then by rights we would resemble the Bonobo apes, the females of which usually offer reconciliatory sex to the male even if his courtship sucked. This doesn't happen with humans though. So we have to be direct. It's in our nature. And some ways to do that are:

• Small talk followed by invitation for "drinks" at your place if it happens to be close by
• Invitation to your place directly, skipping dating altogether
• Wordless sexual initiation like a sudden rush into a nearby washroom or bedroom

This might seem hard to believe but it happens a lot. Men and women know relatively quickly if they're sexually attracted, so it is counter productive to draw it out when you know they know where you stand.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I did in order to get ONS with females.

1. Get hella drunk (or act like you're drunk)
2. Get on the dance floor and look for a girl whose attractive.
3. Tell her that she has beautiful/gorgeous lips while touching her waist
4. Kiss her on the lips
5. Lift off!