Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Final Solution

The question has been asked, if this blog is about moving past dating then why am I writing all this stuff? This blog is not really about moving past dating. It's about moving past traditional dating and moving towards more natural interactions with women. However, I sometimes still refer to these interactions as "dates" but only because it's a compact and convenient word. But to be more precise they should probably be called non-dates or get-togethers instead. So it's a question of semantics.

The other thing I want to address is the idea of detachment. If you are truly detached and have your life in order then what is the purpose of reading this blog? If you are reading this blog doesn't that mean that you are attached somewhat even if the main message in my posts is about detachment? The answer is yes, you might still be attached. And this is why this blog is NOT the final solution. And neither is my ebook. They are intermediate steps, footholds if you will, which can help you get to the final level where you are truly enlightened and are your own person. And once you get to that point you will no longer need this blog, or anything else.


Anonymous said...

It's a fundamentally cheap and dishonest tactic to push Buddhism under the guise of a "dating tips" blog.

It's generally a worthless ploy as well; men who are already living without sex, dating and quality female relationships are seeking help in the first place precisely because they don't want to continue in that mode of existence.

Vittorio said...

That's just your opinion. Buddhism isn't my central theme but parts of the philosophy apply well to what I talk about. It's always helpful to add different dimensions to ones thinking. It makes for a broader perspective.

Besides, nowhere in Buddhism does it say you shouldn't have sex. In some writings it encourages it. So maybe you have a purist mentality that has trouble combining different ways of thinking about certain things.

Ultimately I talk about detachment from outcome. But that does not mean sit and do nothing. There are certainly things you can do in your life which accommodate the pursuit of female companionship but which don't deplete from your quality of life in other areas.

Anonymous said...

You do raise some interesting points.

However on a personal level I have to think that you don't need to be detached from the outcome, just be mature enough to accept that an interaction can go both ways and what you can gain is greater than what you risk.

The community goes on and on about detachment by telling you to "not care about the outcome" and to "never invest emotion" into a woman. That sounds very cold to me, if you never invest emotion how can you ever really connect with her emotionally?

One of the worst bits of advice along these lines is that to always "next" your "one-itis" (the woman you are currently interested in) the community always assumes she is NEVER going to be interested in you. I used to buy into this thinking as well, until I found out from personal experience that its incorrect.

My a-ha came when some old friends from earlier in my life got back in touch through facebook (I moved towns a few years back and lost contact), among these were some female friends and a few old "one-iti's" of mine. (by now they have their own relationships) More than one of them upon regaining contact asked me if I was ever interested in them, and confessed that they used to be attracted to me. Seems they also never had the courage to make a move. (yes some old one-itis of mine said that)

By seduction community thinking, I would have had to cut off all contact with them and never pursue any possibility of a relationship, when there was still an equal chance of it happening or not happening.

Yes guys the girls also get nervous, and its very possible that you might just be their one-itis as much as she might be yours, and that neither of you have seen the signs.

Ultimately be mature enough to take a chance and accept things can go either way and you can handle both! Be man enough to act on your desires, it doesn't make you any less of a man to care about the outcome as long as you deal with her as an EQUAL.