Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Treat Women As Equals

When it comes to sex and dating women are equal to men. All the evidence is there, plain as day. Ask yourself why you need to put in so much effort trying to get women to do what you would like them to. The fact of the matter is that they know, very quickly, what the score is. This is not a reason to feel powerless. It is a reason to feel powerful.

If you ask women how quickly they know if they will (or will not) have sex with a man, they usually say that it takes them a few minutes. Some even say it takes them a few seconds.

On the other hand, if you ask women how long they wait before they will sleep with a man, they often say that it takes a few dates. The common stock response is that they want to get to know the man first. Fair enough.

But why go on dates if the outcome has already been decided early on?

Do you want to have a better shot at closing the deal? Do you want to see if you can "convince" her? Fat chance. Women, like men, know right away if they want to have sex with someone, and you can almost never change their minds. In this regard they are equal to men, completely.

Dating has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It is an add-on.

It is what society has told men and women, especially women, that they must do before getting naked. It's nothing to get upset about. It's just the way it is.

You however, can change your strategy accordingly. You need to put dating in its proper perspective. If you just happen to like spending time in restaurants or at the movies with a woman, regardless of the outcome, then by all means, go on dates. But if you are only on the market for casual sex then you must avoid this.

You must be more direct in your approach with women. Keep the "dates" short. Have one drink or two, invite her back to your place, and be ready to move on if she declines. If you feel that you need to put more time in or do something more, or maybe see her one more time, then you are not treating her as an equal.

You don't even have to tell her that you are open to a relationship, because then you are lying and she will know that you're lying just to get into her pants. Remember, she's your equal. You can tell her the truth.

There is power to be had by treating women as equals because you don't have to do any of the thinking for them. You don't have to worry about what buttons to push, and in what order to push them. You don't have to worry about learning NLP, pushing and pulling, Mystery Method, cocky-funny, or anything like that. You don't have to worry about learning seduction. None of that matters. In the first few minutes you don't have time to do any of that anyway. All you do have time for is showing her that you are confident and direct, and know what you want. Nothing can be simpler than this.

The cardinal rule is simple. Treat women as equals. Whenever you catch yourself wondering a little bit too much about what to say, or do, then remember this rule. Whenever you find yourself wondering what you could have done differently or if you "calibrated" her correctly, remember this rule. Are you treating her as an equal?

Stop trying to think for women. Stop assuming that you need to do all or most of the work. Stop assuming that it takes so much skill to learn to meet women. Reject all the programming telling you otherwise, both in the mainstream culture and the seduction community.

Some may say that putting in the time and "game" is necessary because that is women's social script and you need to follow it even if she already made up her mind about you.

In that case, be prepared to unconditionally give away your power in the name of getting laid.

Be prepared to accept that women will have power over you because they have something you want. You will either pay for the dates or pay for the game.

Is it really worth it?

How does it feel to have your highs and lows dependent on how someone responds to you?

There is absolutely no way of arguing that this is a good thing.

But what if you do what I suggest and you don't get laid?

So what.

Women aren't a rare species. Stick to your principles and over time you will meet women who are a match for you.

You don't have to stay at home. You meet them as you go about your business in your day to day life. You meet them when you go out to bars and clubs. You don't have to try to pick them up. Just be friendly and socialize without wanting anything from anyone, and chances are they will come to you. Yes, it's very liberating knowing that you don't have to do the thinking for anyone because they are smart enough to take things to the next level if they really want to. And lucky for you, many women are craving the opportunity to take charge because they are so used to guys doing all the work. All you have to do is give them the opportunity, by doing less.

The key to mastering this is to learn to be happy even when there are no women in your life. Once you master this you can do the above without second guessing yourself.

As a matter of fact, this applies to other areas of life as well. If you aren't needy for other people's approval and acceptance then you will never kiss up to anyone again. You will own your destiny and you will be happy no matter what.

But maybe you need to figure all this out for yourself. Maybe you need to go down the rabbit hole many times before reaching similar conclusions. And then once you get that experience you will know. That's perfectly fine. I can tell you that that knowledge will be much more valuable than anything. In fact it will become the one thing that keeps you on the right path even when there are so many that would tell you otherwise.


SomeoneCZ said...


just a small notice - there are such cases, and you mention them, in which women will not sleep with you, unless you had several dates with them. Thus, I don't see the following statement as valid:

Dating has absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Kind Regards,

Anonymous said...

Mystery method and all this pua crap was created for unattractive men who were nerds or too shy to be upfront and straightforward with women.

Their basis is to "convince" a women to sleep with you or "create" attraction which is a very false premise that can lead to a lot of wasted time, wasted energy and frustrations.

a man should take care of his body, i.e. be in shape and his own style and should then start working on taking action to build his confidence and start focusing on the approach (i.e. was it direct and self assured or not) and not the results who in reality are out of your control.

you gotta check out the book Modeone Let the women know what you're really thinking by alan roger currie. you guys share a lot of the same principles


Anonymous said...

"Treat women as equals" may be a good cardinal rule in the year 3000, but unfortunately I don't believe this rule will get you anywhere in today's world. Judging by the quality and substance of your writing, I would say there are very few women alive who are equal to you in any way, and if you don't realize that then you will be doing a lot of the "moving on if she declines" that you refer to. Biologically speaking, there is nothing equal about men and women, and in most regards women are weaker. To make it worse, society has solidified women into a secondary role. All women expect men to be givers, especially hot women, and they often judge themselves by how much they receive. That's why some women say that the reason men should pay for dates is because "they are worth it." One can also theorize, although women will never admit it, that women also expect men to manipulate them using their superior minds, and that women pride themselves on being the victims of subtle manipulation because it makes them feel intensely desired.

I have come across attractive women to whom which none of the above applies. Maybe 3, in my 26 years of existence. If you just always "be yourself" and treat women as equals without putting any extra effort into seduction, I think your numbers will be in that ballpark. I think it would behoove any modern man to worry a little about doing the thinking for women. She will decide if you are sexually compatible within a few seconds, true, but you're not the only one she thinks is cute, and the other 10 guys are douche bags with open wallets and too much free time on their hands. A better cardinal rule would be "you have to pay to play." I wish I was wrong but that has been my experience.

John said...

"I have come across attractive women to whom which none of the above applies. Maybe 3, in my 26 years of existence."

I'm skeptical about your figures. The number should definitely be much higher than that. It's about knowing where to look and which women to avoid.

From my own experiences I would say that the minimalist approach works best. But that doesn't mean women should just jump into bed with you either. There are obviously steps involved, but each step should happen fairly easily, like the initial hello, getting the number, the date, etc. No magic tricks here or specialized seduction required, just basic progression between two people, including give and take, which even a child can comprehend. That is the essence of what I mean by treating women as equals. The minute you start going above and beyond this to get results you start entering diminishing returns territory. It's like an inverse law, the more effort you put into a relationship with a person the less value you get out of it. Think back to the close friendships you've had, chances are real good that you never had to go through hoops or a lot of effort to acquire them. It's no different with women.

But if insist on pay to play then I would suggest prostitutes since then all you're paying with is money, and not time plus effort plus money which is what many women demand for access to their panties.