Saturday, January 3, 2009

Dealing With Bossy And Difficult Women

Sometimes men find themselves on dates with difficult or bossy women. For lack of a better word, these women behave like "brats", giving the guys a hard time at every opportunity.

So what do you do as a man, if you find yourself in this situation?

First of all, realize that it is not your role to waste time trying to deal with women like this. You are not her parent so there is no need to have to shoulder such burdens.

Secondly, realize that she is not "testing" you in the way the seduction community likes to explain this type of behaviour. So there is no need to try and "pass" her tests, or overcome her difficult behaviour in order to prove to her how "alpha" you are. This type of thinking is a trap so don't fall for it.

The only thing that is happening here is that this particular woman is being a brat with you. Now, some women will say that they want a guy that can deal with her bad behaviour and "put her in her place" so to speak. That may seem valid, except for one problem; these women generally have no interest in putting a stop to their behaviour. They enjoy it too much. So they'll just keep ramping it up, and pushing your buttons, because that's exciting for them.

And then, when the date doesn't work out they'll blame the man because he couldn't handle her. But in reality it's a no-win situation. If the man doesn't constantly put up a fight he will be viewed by her as "weak" or "giving up". And if he does put up a fight she will view him as "reactive", meaning that she got under his skin. And she will have won again.

Women like this are in the habit of rationalizing their bratty behaviour by saying that the guys aren't "man enough" to handle them. But that's just an excuse for them to act the way they do, and not take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.

True alpha males don't care about passing bratty women's tests (or anyone's tests for that matter). So by being difficult, such women are not screening for alpha males, but for guys who are determined to win their approval no matter the cost. These are the only type of guys who are willing to stick around (whether she likes it or not).

If a woman gives an alpha male a hard time he will respond strongly at the beginning, telling her to stop, or whatever. And then at that point, if she is interested in being feminine, will immediately start behaving better. But if she is not interested in being feminine, and is more interested in being a brat, she will continue to test and give him a hard time.

Such women are not interested in Yin and Yang. And a man would be foolish to put up with their behaviour for long. So it's much better for him to end the date early.

An alpha male knows that he is under no obligation to prove anything to women like this. It would go against his nature. He knows that to continue to stick around to try to score points and do the "alpha" responses, he is acting weak and is approval seeking. It is nothing more than advanced supplication.

At the first sign of trouble, real men respond, but also don't stick around when the women continue to give a hard time. Smart women understand this.

By the way, sex with bratty women, if it gets that far, is usually not that much fun either. The reason is that they are not interested in receiving female pleasure. They are more interested in getting the upper hand. And this affects them in most every way, including their ability to orgasm and enjoy intimacy.

Remember, worthwhile women make it easy for the man. They are fun to be with and get to know. This is in contrast to brats who behave like children in a woman's body; which is hardly attractive and certainly not motivating.

So be careful of women who try to use men's sense of masculinity to control them and get them worked up. It's a no-win situation, doomed to failure.


Anonymous said...

This is such intelligent,practical,common sense advice. It should be shouted from the rooftops!!

Thats how I live my life (sometimes)-I cannot stand these bratty women,yet when I say "no" to them they cannot understand the term and think there is something wrong with me!! I just get up and walk away!

Anonymous said...

Fuckin A

abdullah said...

Most women are neither Yin nor Yang but like a sine wave in between these two; like bipolar disorder due to hormone issues. How to deal?
When they are Yin you reward them with lots of affection and when they are Yang you punish them by simply ignoring them. Many men actually reward negative behavior in their woman so it just gets worse. They reward them by engaging them when they are bad. Don't engage them when they are bad.
With proper conditioning most women will naturally gravitate to Yin if you as a male play your Yang role correctly.
I love your blog. It is very thought provoking.

Anonymous said...

"First of all, realize that it is not your role to waste time trying to deal with women like this. "

Something your article doesn't address is when the bossy and difficult women are your co-workers or peers. It becomes very important to know how to handle such women in a work environment, where false allegations and outright guile can get you fired or worse.

Anonymous said...

Okay. But you didn't say how to deal with bossy women. You just avoided the problem.

Anonymous said...

In the case of the "co-worker" situation be respectful and choose your battles wisely..

You seemed to have missed the point. Why would you want to deal with bossy women?

Anonymous said...

I'm married to a brat. Although I agree with your premise, I have to disagree with some of your arguments.
1. Generally, I don't think they want to be bratty. I believe it to be hormonal. (I started tracking period cycle.)
2. Sex is fun with a brat. She wants to be manhandled. When manhandled, she organisms A LOT.
Again, I agree with what you're trying to say. Its a lot of work dealing with a brat. Hence the reason I stumbled on your blog. My search: "how to deal with a bratty wife". My only effective way of dealing with brat is to ignore her, which in an LTR is not always the best strategy.

MarkyMark said...

I'm too old to put up with a bratty woman's crap. If a woman gives me shit, it's NEXT!

Anonymous said...

Well spoken buddy