Thursday, June 4, 2009

Belief Systems

The question is sometimes asked, what is the best belief system for success and how do you adopt it?

The answer may surprise you.

The most important thing is not beliefs, but intelligence and awareness. Which belief system do you need to drive safely? You don't, but you do need a certain level of smarts and awareness while behind the wheel.

Beliefs should reflect reality. So you shouldn't put blinders on. Sure, ignorance might be bliss but it's not a responsible way of going through life. If everyone did that there would be no improvements in social injustices, because everything would be "hunky-dory".

So which beliefs should you adopt?

The beliefs that best reflect reality.

Reality is something you learn through trial and error and trying different things. Beliefs are a byproduct of reality.

I'm not going to keep myself ignorant so I can be happy and successful in life. Good things happen, and bad things happen. You acknowledge them, and move forward. If you refuse to acknowledge the bad things then you fall into the trap of delusional positivity. You can get caught up in thinking that you have to do all sorts of weird affirmations and positive thinking to be successful in different areas of life, such as women. And you avoid negative opinions fearing they will affect your positive state and your successful streak will end. In the seduction community you sometimes see this; guys making a big deal out of positivity, and worrying that if they take their rose colored glasses off they will stop getting laid. It's basically overcompensating for their fear of failure.

I personally have never found it to be good on the long term to adopt a delusional positive state where nothing is wrong and nothing bad ever happens. The fact is that sometimes shit does happen and you have to confront it. Anger and sadness is sometimes there for a good reason, it means something is wrong that needs fixing. And chances are that you would never be reading this website if you truly believed that everything was A-okay in your life.

I'm not saying it's okay to wear a scowl on your face when you go out. Clearly, that's not good. You don't want an aura of negative energy around you. Your default state of mind should be positive. I know from personal experience that being a happy person is the best way to connect with others, plus it makes me feel better inside. But when shit happens there's no need to force that positive state of mind to continue as you're dealing with the issue. You deal with it and then you bounce back to your positive state.

Personally, I'm always friendly and enthusiastic when I meet people. This is my default state when I'm being social. But if someone rubs me the wrong way I plan a quick exit and in some cases I'll even speak out against what that person did. This does not make me a negative person. I am simply reacting to the facts.

When it comes to meeting women, some guys will fret over which affirmations to use, which belief systems to take on, and how to make them stick. I have never done that. I always found it a waste of time. If a belief system is not grounded in reality it has no staying power, and this is especially true if you are an intelligent person who is in the habit of making himself aware of what goes on around him.

I know that I can only fix myself and deal with my own issues, but that does not mean that other people's issues are going to magically disappear as a result. I will still run into problems occasionally but I will know that chances are good that I won't be to blame (assuming I have myself sorted out first).

Thinking all women want you is not the solution. It might feel good to say that, but the fact is that not all women will want you, and when that reality hits you it's silly to go back and reinforce the belief that all women want you. The belief was wrong to begin with. If you think this is disempowering then you should ask yourself if the truth is something you're willing to overlook just to keep yourself in the best state of mind.

I feel there is too much metaphysical new-age discussion surrounding this topic, such as what constitutes great inner game, etc. Personally, reality is my inner game. I made an effort to understand how things work, and as a result I simplified things for myself because I now know how things work. And it's not nearly as complicated as some make it out to be. Everything I've written on my blogs is based on how things actually work and my beliefs come from that. Power comes from knowing the truth.

For instance, I know that women know right away if they are sexually attracted to me, so I don't need to waste time courting them. I can be direct and upfront because I know that's the best way to go. That's my belief, based on the way things actually are. I don't have to pretend that I'm so hot and chicks want to bang me right away, and when they do it's because of the belief. The fact is that some girls are willing to bang right away, so there's nothing metaphysical going on. It's just a fact of life.

A lot of times guys will do these things with women which sound amazing, and they call it "tight game", but it's really just the way things worked all along. It's significance is exaggerated because it's so different from what they originally thought would work. The fact is, reality is sometimes amazing, and when you discover that for yourself, you needn't think that some "magical" belief system came into play that "altered" or "stretched" reality, allowing you to do something that couldn't be done otherwise. Reality was there all along and you just hopped on board.

There's nothing special about the inner game of some guy who knows the truth about the way things work. He simply acts on the truth and that's the source of his strength.


Anonymous said...

Spot on!

Anonymous said...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

It's sad fact that the sudden surge in self-improvement products over the last few decades has come as a result of the American Dream. Many of us are taught to expect certain great things in life, like money, women, fame. Unfortunately life doesn't work out that way for many people, and as result of our frustrated sense of entitlement, we become vulnerable to the false promises of self-proclaimed experts who promise to make all our dreams come true in the form of a magic bullet.