Saturday, August 21, 2010

How Picky Should Women Be?

It's common "wisdom" in the seduction community that women's picky-ness is justified because they (unlike men) can get pregnant. I recently wrote a post on my other blog that discusses this in more detail. I explain how most of the time, from an evolutionary perspective, women are not justified in being very picky.

Women Are Not Justified In Being Very Picky


Liz Leia said...

Great article!

And, while everyone is entitled to have personal standards, some women think they are entitled to be bitchy, cold, or rude to enforce their standards, but there is NO justification for this behavior.

P said...

It's funny, I think the level of pickiness with women can be dependent on so many social variables it's not even funny, but probably the most common theme I see running through it all is scarcity of young, single girls.

See, I'm in Richmond, Virginia, which has been notoriously been cited time and and time as one of the worst places for young, single, professional guys.

You see 10 guys lined up to talk to every one average looking girl in bars.

Average bars and clubs you go into, you won't see lots of single girls milling about, trying to meet people; more like tables of 5 guys with one girl, or 6-8 guys, and two girls, or groups of two and three couples.

I know a pretty overweight girl who needs to lose like 50 pounds before she looks reasonably attractive, but she WON'T!! She has long, straight blonde hair, can squeeze herself into a skirt and pumps, and tons of guys still hit on her!

This is a far cry from places like DC where many people, including myself, cite numerous instances of being approached by attractive girls, asked to meet their friend, etc. Cities like DC and NYC have a well-documented lopsided single female to male ratio.

One attractive girl I know here in Richmond who has many attractive, selective female friends expressed her distate with DC when she went to see a girlfriend of hers who moved their after college and can't seem to find a guy. She was so shocked and turned off by how all of the girls there were just single, dressed to the 9's and strutting their stuff.

She had the same problem with JAmes Madison Univerisity, where she visited her college-aged sister. We're talking about a college where women vastly outnumber guys. Girls get dressed up for class all the time, get dressed up to go to the gym, are often late to class because they were taking so much time getting dressed up.

She expressed to me one day that she doesn't feel that's the way things should be.

I thought to myself, "No wonder!!! You've been in Richmond all your life! You hate the idea of a place where girls actually have to work to get the time of day from guys! You'd rather 10 guys have to line up to talk to every average, homely looking girl!

Anonymous said...

I think both men and women are picky. Lots of my male friends would not have anything to do with some women. I know of guys who reject sex with certain women even when women are more than willing.

Women also have different standards so there is lots of variation. It is not as pathetic as PUA community paints it.

BTW, in nature female apes escape dominant males if they can and copulate with so called beta-males. Willingly, without any action from beta-males. For some reason beta-males got a bad rep. Not justified.

Also alpha and beta are not necessarily fixed in stone social rankings. Change in circumstances can quickly change social ranking of a male in a group.


John said...

Women are a lot pickier than men on average (in particular, women in privileged western societies) because they have stricter criteria for many more traits that they want in a man. However, men are typically called shallow because they look at physical attractiveness in large part. And women are called less shallow because they look at things beyond just looks. But actually women are more shallow because they look at more things more closely and as such the pool of eligible men becomes much smaller for them than the pool of eligible women (for the men).

Anonymous said...

Coming from a non-Western country, I think that Western women are not picky at all.:) I think women in the US are so easy. Perhaps, they are easy to get to bed, but not easy to have a relationship with. I did notice that a few women here, not all, have some unreasonable expectations of what men should be like. The most absurd thing is that they are not giving much in return for all the demands they make on men.


John said...

Sure, some women in the US and some Canadian women are easy, but that depends on the local culture of the town/city and the particular niche within that culture that a guy is trying to work.

But on the whole, you would get a lot of guys disagreeing with you on the assertion that western women are not generally picky, especially white attractive anglo women :)

Anonymous said...

women (i am one so it's strange to talk about myself like an object) are not picky enough. Look at all of those terrible partners women choose who treat them like crap - awful fathers and husbands, not remotely sexually attractive either. Women need to have much greater, higher standards - and that's all women, regardless of what they look like.

Anonymous said...

Guys are 100 times more shallow and really nasty with it. An unattractive female won't get anywhere in the world as a guy either won't give her the time of day or will treat her badly because she doesn't meet some stupid criteria (i'm talking abuse). Guys have better chances at succeeding - it's just that they want to succeed with a woman who is a 10, despite the ordinary/normal women around them.

John said...

Choosing a bad partner has more to do with having the wrong set of criteria, not how picky (or not) that person is.

Women, in general, already have overly high standards, especially attractive women. In fact, "Attractive Women Want It All" is the name of a legitimate publication. Here's the link:

On average, guys are somewhat shallow when it comes to looks only. Women (attractive western women especially) are shallow when it comes to looks, social status, dress style, how much money he makes, and often times a whole bunch of other nonsense criteria. Read a book on the subject if you want a female perspective on this: "Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough", written by Lori Gottlieb.

For the record, in the past I've mostly ever dated women who were considerably less than 10s. The 10s are essentially untouchable, and nowadays so are the 9s, and even many of the 8s.

Anonymous said...

I think that women should be a lot more picky.

I am a young college student that just graduated and I notice that my guy friends and many of the guys that I dated are extremely picky.

For example, one of my guy friend is a college drop out, unemployed, and cheap but he mistreats girls that he dated because they failed to meet one or two of his criteria.

He also thinks he deserves a 10.

Another person I know is a poor 70 year old man (he attends college on the senior discount), who pursues 20 something college girls.

When I told him that he should date women his own age who is willing to give him the love and affections he wants, he dismissed them as too old.

I think that men have more options because there a lot of young, naive girls that can be taken advantage of.

It is a lot easier to steal candy from a baby then to buy candies in a store.